This week, we say hello to April and goodbye to the first Mercury Retrograde of 2019.
I don’t know about you but this retrograde was an emotional roller coaster. It highlighted a lot of internal battles, social media breakdowns, airport shut downs, and brought some personal issues to light. Although people talk negatively about Mercury Retrograde, I honestly think we need it. Retrogrades allows us to come face to face with our issues to see what we need to work on. One of the issues that popped up a lot is perfectionism.
We need to be perfect.
This idea of perfection has a profound hold in our society. We see this trait in athletes, business owners, or people who want to achieve greatness. We want to be perfect in all that we do. Society wants us to be perfect because when we’ve reached perfection, we’re loved. When we’re perfect, we have value and we LOVE that feeling!
It feels great to be recognized as an example of excellence. All that hard work is paid off! However, once we’re not “perfect” or when we fail, the ego plummets into depression. So we keep going and aim for perfection to become a flawless human. Because to be perfect is to be the best, right? Well this is what I have to say about that:
Perfection is poison.
With the constant need to be perfect, it unknowingly forces us to reach a certain image in order to feel loved. In some cases, we desire perfection because we think once we get there we can be “truly” happy. Once we’re perfect, we can finally be content with who we are. This idea is not only untrue, it’s unhealthy and causes more harm to the mind and body.
Psychotherapist Mel Schwartz stated that “perfectionists tend to think that other people are somehow better or superior to them, so they need to be without flaw just to catch up. This is a terribly damaging myth.” The need to be perfect, in hindsight, makes us insecure. It tells the ego that we’re not enough so we need to change completely instead of embracing who we are. Perfection tells the ego that we won’t be valued unless we change.
Now I’m not saying to not have goals!
Goals are great motivators and allow us to become better humans. We can set a goal to have a perfect grade in school or a perfect work week. However, goals and perfection are vastly different. Once we start to look at goals in an obsessive manner and label it as something we need in order to love ourselves fully, that’s where we fall into the pit of perfection.
Perfection changes who you are. Goals build you up.
A goal is looking at yourself with love, embracing who you are, and evolving to be better. Once the goal becomes being perfect in life for external value, that’s dangerous territory.
No one is perfect.
I don’t care who you are or what you do, there’s not a human being in this life who’s perfect. Even the people we idolize and think are magnificent are not perfect. We’re all human and we’re all flawed… and that’s a GOOD THING! If we were perfect, there would be no evolution. There would be no growth and life is all about GROWTH.
Even machines, which were designed to be perfect and everlasting, break down and need to be repaired. We live in an imperfect universe and we shouldn’t be ashamed to have flaws. If anything, our flaws are what make us unique. Our flaws gives us the opportunity to embrace who we are right now with love and allow us the opportunity to live in the moment.
Embrace your humanity!
We feel like we HAVE to be perfect and master everything. If you’re not constantly goal oriented or striving towards perfection, society will label you as lazy or unfocused. That my friend is bullshit. When we try to be perfect in everything we do, we fall short. We spread ourselves too thin which results to making us feel like shit.
This mentality of needing to master everything and anything to be loved…is a lie. You don’t HAVE to be perfect. If no one has ever said those words to you, let me be the first to say it. You are amazing just the way you are, right here, right now. You can love yourself right now and nothing bad will happen.
Seriously ask yourself: “What would happen if I just love myself right now? If I just accept that this is where I’m currently at, and that it’s okay? What would happen if I just let go of the idea to be perfect? That I don’t need to change in order to feel valued? That I’m perfectly imperfect?”
Leave a comment below and let me know. Also if you like this post, make sure you share it with friends and family.
Til next time homies,
Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash